Take a moment and rank the following according to where you place priority or energy (physical & emotional). Hint: consider where your head space is typically at.
- Self
- Work
- Kids
- Spouse
- Extended family & friends
Where did you rank 'self'?
If we (the world) don’t have you, and all the blessings of you, then you can not: a) give quality energy (love & time) to all the other ranks, and b) give the version of you that you ideally want to give.
Put another way: when you put yourself at the top of the list and nourish your whole self (physical, emotional, spirit) then all other ranks down the line (spouse, kids, family, work) will receive the version of you that you ideally want to give.
We pour tremendous amounts of energy into various avenues of our life: career, marriage, volunteer work, kids’ activities & well-being, our home – notice how some of these are commitments to other people's visions and aspirations. All of these things are well and good, and are in fact needed and valuable in our life, but how can we give & contribute to all of these places effectively if we haven’t devoted the time and energy to ourselves.
To give energy we must take-in energy. Like filling up our car’s gas tank to drive, or filling up our bodies with good food to live.
So, what’s the cost of NOT putting ourselves first, or running on empty?
- stressed
- moody, impatient
- half-assing it
- racing mind
- fake, inauthentic
- people pleasing at it’s finest
- burn-out
- sickness
Although most motivated, driven individuals value contribution, and feel good being busy and giving to others; the value of taking time out for self far outweighs the cost of burn-out, sadness, and regret.
On the flip, the REWARD for putting self first:
- peace
- contentment
- certainty
- feeling enough
- quality output
- joy
- fulfillment
Putting priority on self doesn’t mean ignore your kids, cancel their swimming lessons, or let work slide; rather, create nourishing space for you too. Both can co-exist.
What Does Working on Self Look Like?
Good self-care practices like massage, workouts, hobbies, reading, shopping are great, but they have a shelf-life.
For lasting meaningful work it goes deeper than that, and can be found in the land of coaching.
Coaching is a place where you:
- take stock of it all
- identify your unique purpose and lean into it
- define & honour your values within
- lean into or away from character traits that will better serve
- hash out stressors, or what’s in the way
- make intentional choices about next steps, or how to show up strong
- craft goals
Coaching is softly therapeutic in nature, yet instills power and motivation within to fight for self and charge on. Working on what drives you and inspires you, aligning with your purpose and values, connecting to your higher self (the one who has the vision and knows what is best for you) provides wholesome nutrition for your soul. It anchors you to what’s really important so you can pivot in the direction to optimal.
Connected to this deep space, you will run your life more efficiently because you are able to make faster decisions with confidence and certainty, casting over-analysis aside. You feel empowered, and have the resiliency to know that a wrong turn or block in the road is okay - in fact, par for the course.
My favourite product of this space; you will illuminate and influence creating a positive impact on those you reach. Remember that ranking list at the beginning? Feel good knowing that you will positively influence your spouse, kids, peers, your business audience, and more . . .
Honour and lead from within. Work on the inside to perform strong on the outside.
Remember it’s not an emphasis of units of time spent on you, so don’t go ignoring your kids or your work - create space for both. You & the rest can co-exist.
What will you stop doing to better honour you? What will you start doing? Share your comments below..
It is with pleasure I share..
K.